Archive for Miss Makeover

“I’ve got a new toy,” said Miss Plum, whose ample curves I’m very fond of. Not to mention her demure smile, her throaty laugh, and her humungous hooters. “It’s a fat, thick cock.” “Sounds like Chris Moyles,” I say.

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MISS MAKEOVER: STRAP-ONS – Miss Plum, dicks and dickheads

‘Ketamine! I think I found the clitoris of my brain!’ So said my friend Charlotte, an exotic dancer, escort girl, masseuse, militant sex worker and Wise Woman against the War. Incidentally, we don’t say ‘witch’ any more. Only because she’s way too beautiful to be a crone.

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Miss Makeover ‘Ketamine! I think I found the clitoris of my brain!’ So said Charlotte, an exotic dancer, escort girl, masseuse, militant sex...

Time they made hetero sexuality legal, grumbled Eric Morecambe impersonator Philip Larkin, complaining about the legalisation of homosexuality.  “But they have made it legal,” said one of the wedlock junkies he was embroiled with. “It’s called marriage.” A bit too legal, he grumbled

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Miss Makeover: PHILIP LARKIN, BALD GIT SURROUNDED BY WEDLOCK JUNKIES

FOXY BOXING Have you ever tried to elicit sympathy for a badly sprained wrist? If you have you’ll know that you won’t get any. There’ll much ribaldry from so-called friends

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Miss Makeover: “My boyfriend’s like that. It’s almost impossible to make him come.”

Miss Makeover says… My mother is difficult. And I am impossible.

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Miss Makeover: “BEAUTY” AND THE BEASTLY MY MOTHER MEETS GEEZER

Miss Makeover says… My mother is difficult. And I am impossible. Let’s drop the euphemisms.

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Miss Makeover: “BEAUTY” AND THE BEASTLY MY MOTHER MEETS GEEZER

Some clever dick said there would be less trouble in the world if we all stayed at home. I say ‘I love you’ is the problem

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Miss Makeover: I LOVE YOU: HOW TO END A RELATIONSHIP WITH JUST THREE WORDS

FETIQUETTE. MANNERS FOR MANIACS by Miss Makeover Americans tend to think there are codes for everything. In the leather community a handkerchief in one pocket means sub, the other pocket means Dom

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Miss Makeover:FETIQUETTE. MANNERS FOR MANIACS

Aug
14

Martin Amis: Breasts or Bottoms

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MARTIN AMIS: BREASTS OR BOTTOMS? Apologies for returning to the Priss Prince once more but he was my husband’s favourite, also a stick he used to beat me. I might have been a published writer but my husband had read Gabriel Garcia Marquez (although not since university) and kept on with Martin Amis even through the embarrassments of Night Train and Yellow Dog.

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Martin Amis: Breasts or Bottoms

Aug
14

Martin Amis: Breasts or Bottoms

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MARTIN AMIS: BREASTS OR BOTTOMS? Apologies for returning to the Priss Prince once more but he was my husband’s favourite, also a stick he used to beat me. I might have been a published writer but my husband had read Gabriel Garcia Marquez (although not since university) and kept on with Martin Amis even through the embarrassments of Night Train and Yellow Dog.

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Martin Amis: Breasts or Bottoms